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Top Ten (New To Me) In 2022

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Sitting here the morning of New Year’s Day, staring down the fresh new year ahead of me, I want to take one more day for the past. I’m not alone in observing that it’s been a really strong year for horror. I’m not good at keeping up to date with new releases (last year I hadn’t even watched enough 2021 horror films to do a top ten list), but this year I’ve seen about 20, and I think that’s more a testament to how good things have been rather than how diligent of a fan I’ve become.

Lately, I’ve seen countless posts where people list their best (or worst) of the year and I want to hop on that bandwagon. But as I don’t want to be too repetitive on the blog and write about the same stuff again and again, some of the best films I’ve seen are ruled out (as I’ve already discussed them).  So, as I did last year, here, in no particular order, comes a list of the top ten movies (new or old) that a) were first time watches for me and b) I haven’t written about yet. I notice, looking at my list, that it leans hard into entertainment. There have been many films this year that were rich in idea and feeling, which I really felt the need to write about at length and explore. Most (though not all) of the films on this list were just a really good time, and I want to highlight them as well, and not only headier fare. I’ll mostly avoid spoilers, but in some cases, that won’t be possible, so tread lightly.

Night of the Comet (1984)

As we’re still in the holiday season, this seems a good place to start. I don’t know how I hadn’t gotten around to watching this before – it seems like something I would have seen as a kid but somehow missed. Thom Eberhadt’s post-apocalyptic/zombie-hellscape/sci-fi-comedy/Christmas-timed romp is just a hoot and a half. Two teen sisters are some of the very few survivors on earth (or at least LA) after a close call with a comet vaporizes most of the population and transforms the rest into bloodthirsty zombies. As you are here reading a ‘horror’ blog, don’t go in expecting much from the ‘zombies’ – they get about 5 minutes of screen time, but this modestly budgeted film is greatly entertaining and not lacking in horror. A tonal smorgasbord, the film features playful scenes of the two teenagers enjoying the run of the city to do whatever they like, haunting imagery of Los Angeles as a ghost town that is at once beautiful and eerie, surprising moments of depth and weight (such as when, pre-comet, Kelli Maroney’s stepmother full out punches her across the room in a shocking moment of domestic violence – no one mourns her being reduced to a pile of dust), and some narrative twists and turns that really got me. The film goes to some disarmingly dark places, but never loses its sense of fun along the way. And it’s set at Christmas, so it’s still seasonally appropriate.

Barbarian (2022)

Zach Cregger’s breakout film is on many end-of-the-year lists right now for good reason. If you don’t take too much time to think about some details, moment to moment, it’s possibly the best time I’ve had watching a horror movie in a good while. I can’t remember the last time I was actually compelled to yell at the screen, “Don’t go down there you idiot – what are you doing?!?” And at the same time, rooted in very real dangers and concerns that have been highlighted in the post #MeToo era, it lands a punch of relevance and resonance. When Tess (Georgina Campbell) arrives at a double booked AirBnB and meets the other tenant, Keith (Bill Skarsgård), she is understandably extremely cautious, as are we. Even after the movie has taken some hard left turns and gone to totally unexpected places, it’s hard not to feel that Keith, such a seemingly nice guy, is actually a dangerous sleazebag. But as time goes on, that caution gets exhausted and then it’s shouting at the screen time. And that’s only the first act. When Justin Long appears at the top of the second, it is such a hard but refreshingly sunny and musical pivot, and what his character represents is an interesting inclusion to the film’s thematics in terms of the dangers of predatory men and their inability/refusal to take responsibility for their actions. But beyond those weighty concerns, this is just a blast – also, how weird is it that I watched it on Disney+? (Though I’m still waiting for the new Hellraiser, Disney…)

Puppet Master (1989)

Here’s another case of “how have I never seen this before?” Of course, Charles Band and David Schmoeller’s direct-to-video cult classic has always been on my radar, but I had never actually picked it up back in the video store days, so I was delighted when it came to Shudder this year. Though its modest budget is evident, the creative joy it takes in bringing to life its killer toys, such as Jester, Tunneler, and Leech Woman, is just infectious; its kill set pieces are creepy and weird; and its story is, if somewhat strained, still pretty effective, with a satisfying final act reversal. I really appreciated William Hickey’s turn as the puppet maker and “last true alchemist,” André Toulon, who discovered the secret of eternal life before being chased down by Nazis. The opening scene of him gently and with loving care, placing all his dolls in a chest, hiding it away, and committing suicide before the Reich can extract his secrets really lent an unexpected pathos to the story – you know, before dolls with drills for heads bore through anyone’s guts or sexy female puppets regurgitate leeches onto a prone victim. Endearingly lurid and lovingly nasty, this first entry in the nigh endless series (I think there are 15 so far), with its ever shifting mythology and chronology (sometimes the dolls are kind of good, and when they’re not, they’re Nazis), endures as a low budget gem.

Lux Æterna (2019)

Gaspar Noé’s short film (thankfully under an hour – it’s hard to imagine enduring much more) is not made to be enjoyed. But it is fascinating, captivating, intriguing, intense, sometimes hilarious, cruel, and as ambivalent as the day is long. Filmed in real time with multiple long tracking shots in split screens tracking different characters, this work of sensory overload follows Charlotte Gainsbourg, among others, through a chaotic film set where she is to be burned as a witch. Conflict abounds – between the cinematographer, the producer, and the director – between actresses and costume designers – between pushy guests who have their own projects to pitch and anyone cornered by them. It is a non-stop sea of noise and action and roiling emotion. Finally, as the scene is being filmed, a technical mishap sends the lighting into a colorful strobe effect which would be unsafe for any epileptic and is almost unendurable for the viewer. And it goes on. And on. For at least ten minutes, but it feels much longer. And what had been a fictional martyrdom seems realized in life. And the camera keeps rolling – long after the director has stormed off the set and the other actresses playing witches have escaped – the cinematographer keeps the lens trained on Gainsbourg and captures something transcendent. But does he? Here lies the ambivalence at the heart of the piece. Through the ending, the screen is filled with quotes from directors, including Noé himself, presenting the “auteur” as the sole conduit to true artistic purity, to the divine, demanding any suffering necessary to achieve that sublimity. This can be taken as the point of the piece – how the filmmaker cuts through the tumult and noise and, even if it means violently assaulting the actor, making a martyr of her, reveals truth. But it also feels deeply, deeply ironic – as if it is all to send up this very notion – and at the end of the day, the valorization of the auteur simply excuses pointless, artless cruelty and exploitation – both to the actors, his co-workers, and us, the audience. Whatever it was, it has stayed with me, and I’m very glad to have sat through it, though I must say, it’s not for everyone.

Prey (2022)

Another, “what a blast!” movie, Dan Trachtenberg’s Predator prequel manages to be both excitingly fresh and so true to the original that it could be accused of being an empty retread if it weren’t such a deeply felt and rollicking good time. Amanda Midthunder just kills it as a young, early 18th century Comanche woman determined to hunt, though the tribe has other expectations for her. To prove herself, against orders, she goes out to track down the biggest predator she can and finds herself squaring away with an alien presence seemingly here on earth to do the same. Along the way, there are thrilling action sequences, comedy bits that land, and brutal, tense alien violence – which is of course, overshadowed by the looming specter of European colonialism which will do more damage to her people than this single alien invader ever could. I’d long felt that Arnold in the first movie was basically a male slasher “final girl,” and here that gender flip comes full circle, the degree to which she is discounted as a possible threat (cause she’s a girl) being instrumental to her success. Also, it’s refreshing to see native people presented as just that, people – not “noble savages” or somehow “magically connected to the land,” but just intelligent, tool using people (with a different degree of technology, sure), as capable of pettiness and valor as any others. It’s up there with the original in my book, and I have hopes for the recently announced follow up which will take place in feudal Japan.

Pearl (2022)

So I must admit that I preferred Ti West’s X, released in the spring, to this prequel, delivered mere months later (both filmed back-to back in New Zealand during Covid lockdown), but a) I already wrote about X, b) this is still an interesting, bold piece, and taken together, they make a fascinating character portrait (though we now have to wait for the follow up, Maxxxine), and c) I think it’s more than worthy of discussion and promotion without any connection to the other movie. Filmed in a dreamy, technicolor, old Hollywood style ala Wizard of Oz or a Douglas Sirk melodrama, we once again follow Mia Goth, now as the young Pearl (who will grow up to be the murderous, elderly, physical-affection starved antagonist of X), a young girl trapped in a life of simplicity and familial obligation, dreaming of getting out and, (as Maxine will later repeat) becoming the star she knows she is. She chases after her aspirations with sociopathic fervor, but having seen the earlier film, we know it is all for naught – she’s never leaving the farm. The result is a strange mix of bloody psychodrama, dreamy hopefulness, and simple tragedy. Chekhov’s 3 sisters will see Moscow before Pearl escapes her dreary life of boredom and service, no matter how many people or geese she kills. At the same time, while Pearl is a largely sympathetic character, West pulls no punches in also presenting the inherent self-centered greed and coldness that drives her ambition (and sheds rivers of blood). We are pressed into an uncomfortable identification with her need for the thrill of independence, fulfillment, and joy, while fully cognizant of the callous sacrifices being made. What can we accept – in a protagonist? For ourselves? Where is our line between the demands we can slough off to chase our own stars and the responsibilities that burden us, pinning us down to the earth?

The Father (2020)

Florian Zeller’s adaptation of his own play, starring Anthony Hopkins and Olivia Coleman, may strike most as ‘clearly-and-in-no-way-a-horror-movie-what-is-it-doing-on-this-list?,’ but I contend that this tale of an elderly man with dementia, losing his grip on reality, progressively less sure of his relationships with those around him as he loses his own certainty of self is absolutely a work of psychological horror – and it is tremendous. Clearly based on a play, characters largely come in and out of the same rooms – there are no special effects or psychedelic sequences, but it is a profoundly horrifying mind-trip. The woman he thinks is his daughter walks out and another woman enters who eventually explains that his daughter lives in Greece. But maybe this is his daughter. Does he actually have a daughter? Does he live with her, or in his own flat, or in a care facility? We watch through his eyes, losing any sense of solid ground as the film goes on. No one involved with the production sold it as a genre piece, let alone a horror film, but I think it’s one of the most effective works of horror I saw this year – beautiful, tender, and sad, and so deeply unsettling and scary. It isn’t the kind of mood I think most come to horror for, but I think it deserves a place among other psychological pieces like Jacob’s Ladder (1990) or Repulsion (1965).

Glorious (2022)

Rebekah McKendry’s Lovecraftian bottle movie concerns a man, Wes (Ryan Kwanten), trapped in a highway rest area Men’s room with a post-break-up hangover, talking to an ancient eldritch horror (voiced by J.K. Simmons) through a hole carved in the wall of the stall (get it? “glory”…). This being, Ghatanothoa, explains that Wes must make a kind of self-sacrifice to help Ghatanothoa escape before his father (who is essentially god) can use him to destroy humanity. It is pretty high concept stuff, but where it lands by the end is so emotionally grounded, getting to the core of who and what Wes is and what he and Ghatanothoa have in common, that it really justifies the world-building flights of fancy that get us there. I enjoyed most of the movie – it is frequently funny, often very weird, briefly quite gory, and consistently admirable in how big of a film it can be in a single, small location with almost only one physical actor and one voice (a few others, some significantly, get a few minutes of screen time, but mostly Kwanten and Simmons carry the flick – it almost feels like this was filmed during a global pandemic). But while I was enjoying the movie, I wasn’t in love with it until the final 10 minutes when the penny finally dropped and it kind of floored me. It’s a gorgeous, unique, small-scale piece and more people should know about it.

Orphan: First Kill (2022)

I don’t think any useful discussion of this can be had without revealing very significant spoilers of the first film. I’m going to say that if you haven’t seen Orphan (2009), please go watch it now before you read any further. DO NOT watch the 2022 film first, even though it’s a “prequel.” So go now – first Orphan (2009) and then Orphan: First Kill (2022). Thank me later.

Ok, I’m going to assume that anyone remaining has watched both films or will never watch both films. Wow – I must say I had my doubts when I heard that Isabelle Fuhrman, who had starred in the first film in 2007/8 when she was 10, now 24, was going to do a prequel, reprising the role of Esther at an even younger age, and that it was going to be done without computer trickery, but just with body doubles and in-camera effects (ala the hobbits in Lord of the Rings). But it really works! I mean it works by not working – hopefully everyone who saw this had already seen the original film and already knew that earlier film’s twist – that Esther is actually a grown-up with a form of dwarfism, masquerading as a little girl to infiltrate families via adoption, hit on the adoptive father, take what she wants, and kill anyone in her way. Here, we all know from the first frame that this ‘little girl’ is actually, as one character later incredulously says, “a grown-ass woman,” and having an adult woman clearly playing her (though we suspend our disbelief to accept that no other characters can see through her dastardly ruse) helps us watch and enjoy the act all the more clearly – though when she breaks that character, driving a stolen car, listening to ‘Maniac,’ wearing sun glasses, and smoking a cigarette, it’s pretty frickin’ fantastic. The first film turned on such a big reveal and I wondered what they could do here without getting repetitive, but the eventual twist is a doozy. I can’t make any claim of thematic depth or significance, but this movie is just a thrilling, ridiculous, delightful ride.

Rope (1948)

This list has not been any kind of countdown, but I have saved the best for last. For years, I’d been meaning to check out this Hitchcock thriller, most famous for its technical trick of appearing to all be done in one take, but I had no idea just how great of a movie it is, how exciting, how funny, and how chilling. The one take gimmick (which is a bit obvious – every time there’s a “hidden” cut, the camera passes behind someone’s back for a moment) is impressive, and is instrumental in the success of the piece, but it is just one part of a significant whole. Mainly it helps establish the breathless urgency of events playing out in a kind of theatrical “real time” (significantly, this real time is not realistic – events take as long or as short as the drama requires, but the exigency is palpable). The film begins with a couple, Brandon and Phillip (striking how in the late 40s, a clearly gay couple could be shown so openly – if unremarked on – there were probably some viewers who assumed they were just “roommates” – but really, how?), murdering a friend, David, and hiding him in a chest in their living room before hosting a dinner party comprising David’s closest friends and family – all in order to experience pulling off ‘the perfect murder,’ achieving a kind of aesthetic perfection. They even invite an old professor (played by Jimmy Stewart) who used to lecture about a Nietzschean ascendancy which would entitle the ‘superior’ man to kill as he sees fit, free from the morals of the herd.

Brandon, the dominant of the two (their relationship dynamics are wild), gleefully plays with how close he can get to the fire without being burned, without the crime being revealed – serving dinner on the fateful chest or tying up some old books to give David’s father using the rope with which he had strangled his son a half hour earlier, while Phillip just gets drunker and more terrified as the evening progresses, and hence, more erratic and incautious. Hitchcock is absolutely impish in his game of tension, with what enters the frame and what doesn’t, with how close they get to being caught. Finally, there is the element that I think really qualifies this as horror. Watching Jimmy Stewart’s Rupert slowly piece together the clues staring at him in plain sight and the dawning realization of the role he has played in inspiring this crime is a horror beat. Additionally, the very concept of murder for aesthetic entertainment – of characters delighting in venturing into a post-moral space – is more than a little chilling – bringing us to a more horrific (though still essentially thrilling) territory than a crime of passion or greed. I can’t overstate how great this was and, even if only ‘horror-adjacent,’ I think it’s more than worth the time of any fan of the genre.

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And so, there we have it. Ten movies that were new to me that I hadn’t previously written about. That was 2022, and at least in terms of movies, it was pretty great. Let’s see what ’23 holds… Thanks for joining me here – I hope your new year treats you well and we can all keep the horror on the screen and page and otherwise, at bay.

10 Final Girls Who Don’t Get Enough Credit

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So lately, I’ve been digging into the trope of the Final Girl. One reason for this is that I recently guested on the great podcast, Random Number Generator Horror Podcast No. 9, and the film we discussed was the 2015 eighties-summer-camp-slasher set dramatic comedy, The Final Girls. It was a really fun discussion, and I invite you to give it a listen. As an avid listener of horror-podcasts for years, it was an absolute treat to be on a really good one and I thank Jeffrey and Cecil for the opportunity!

And inspired by the movie under discussion (which I really like, but won’t detail here – check out the podcast for that!), I wanted to throw together a list of ten great final girls. So I started checking out what was already out there, and a quick google search yields loads of lists of the “best Final Girls,” but I noticed that I was seeing the same names over and over on list after list, and for good reason. Ginny from Friday the 13th, Part 2 is great (maybe my favorite), with her empathy, resilience, and no-nonsense demeanor. Nancy from Nightmare on Elm Street is awesome (also maybe my favorite) with her book on booby traps and being so “into survival.” Ripley in Alien (a stretch to call it a slasher exactly, but she is certainly a final girl) is aspirationally tough and sensible (if they’d only listened to her and followed quarantine rules, it wouldn’t have even been a horror movie). And so many, many more.

But I felt I wouldn’t really be contributing much if I just listed famous movies that everyone, whether they watch horror or not, has heard of, if not seen. So I tried to dig a bit deeper to shine a light on final girls who don’t always get so much attention. I can’t guarantee that none of them feature on any other list (the internet is a big place), but these are at least somewhat deeper cuts – also, I can’t promise that all of their movies are exactly “good,” but each does have something to recommend it.

That said, I am no slasher expert. There are so many and I’ve but scratched the surface. Out of more than 200 that came out between 1978, when Halloween’s success kicked off the first cycle (between 1980-1982 alone, there were at least 72) until 1989 (because I have to choose an end-point eventually, and horror took a dip in the early 90s), I’ve seen maybe 30% – the most famous and then the fairly well known, with a small spattering of more obscure titles. So please accept this list with that caveat.

And now, without further ado, here is my list, in order of appearance, of great Final Girls who don’t get enough credit:

Courtney – Final Exam (1981) Cecile Bagdadi

Most of this film seems more like Animal House or Revenge of the Nerds, but with a killer on the loose (whose story we never learn). A bunch of frat guys are trying to ride out the year without doing any work by putting a lot of effort into elaborate pranks to help them cheat (one of which, featuring a fake mass shooting, is quite disturbing through contemporary eyes). In a world of rich, entitled brats who don’t take anything seriously, Courtney stands out as the only person actually studying for her “final exam.” She isn’t a prude (if anything, she’s trying to get a particular boy to notice her) but she has more consequential things on her mind. The boy is nice enough (though his obsession with mass shooters and serial killers seems like a red flag), and it’s a shame when he doesn’t make it as they’ve just had a sweet moment. It all builds to a solid chase where she acquits herself well, but in the final shot of the film she seems so traumatized by the experience. While this is a common image, it is still quite effective here. Courtney grounds the horror of these killings and her own survived ordeal in a way that the other victims in their frivolity could not.

Anne – Graduation Day (1981) Patch MacKenzie

Anne has a different vibe from the very beginning. She’s an active military member, coming home to honor her dead sister at what would have been her high school graduation, only to find everyone else on her late sister’s track team getting murdered. We first meet Anne in a truck where she’s hitched a ride and she capably and aggressively fends off the lecherous approaches of the driver, instantly endearing her to us. She starts as a tougher final girl than many, and that self-confidence is fun, but in the final reel, she still has to go through it, fighting to overcome this particular psycho. I think what prevents her from ranking higher on many lists is the fact that we lose her in the middle stretch of the film when she is one of countless red herrings (everyone in this town owns a grey sweat suit and black leather gloves – what we see the killer wearing). In one scene, she is even made out to seem crazy and threatening to a potential (and eventual) victim, distancing us from her even more. But by the end, when the killer is revealed, it is satisfying to return to this level-headed, tough-minded final girl to take him out. Plus, the film is fun and the rest of the cast is solid.

Pam – The Prowler (1981) Vicky Dawson

Pam is great. It seems like she’s studying journalism – at the top of the movie, she’s just published an article about the killing that happened 35 years ago which is why this college stopped having the annual graduation dance (isn’t that more of a high school thing? Anyway…). Thus, when she has to go back to her room to change and narrowly escapes the returned killer, who is dressed as a masked WWII soldier and carrying a pitchfork for some reason (in an exciting sequence that had me wondering if she was in fact going to survive to be the final girl), she can’t not investigate and see this through to the end. There’s a fantastic moment when her boyfriend, the local deputy left in charge for the weekend, tries to drop her off back at the dance so she can be safe. She is just not having it – the resolve with which she threatens him and then gets back in the car foreshadows the strength of character that will help her turn the killer’s own pitchfork on him before blowing his head clean off. Also, just in a connection to another great final girl, Pam finds herself hiding under a bed with a rat, just like Ginny in Friday the 13th Part 2, but at least this one didn’t pee (they were basically filmed at the same time though, so I think it’s a coincidence). In addition, while some elements really don’t make sense, this is one of the better slashers on this list – it’s tense, the killer’s costume looks cool and scary, some scenes are genuinely exciting, and the gore effects might be the best work that Tom Savini ever produced – really effectively grisly and horrifically realistic.

Constance – Just Before Dawn (1981) Deborah Benson

I’ve written at greater length about this backwoods slasher before. Constance stands out as both exemplifying and subverting the still developing tropes of the final girl. Filmed in the summer of 1980, she really offers a different spin on the role. At the beginning of the film, she seems like a typical final girl – reasonable, capable, the only person appropriately dressed for hiking a difficult trail. But she feels that she’s too mousy, inadequate compared with her friends who are bolder than her, braver. And so, as the film progresses and things get progressively more difficult, so does she, changing her physical appearance in the process. In an inversion of the trope, she becomes more outwardly feminine and sexual, donning shorter shorts, showing more flesh, putting on makeup, letting down her hair. And she is more sexually aggressive with her boyfriend. In a way, it’s like she’s putting on the mask of a different role, one you might expect to get killed much earlier in a film like this. However, wearing her mask, she is freed – she can be the wild, primal figure she needs to be to take down this hulking killer in what might be the most satisfying moment of a final girl killing a slasher on film. You may see many final girls rise in violence to take down the killer, but no one quite does what Constance does – just watch it – I don’t want to spoil the fun. It’s a perfect encapsulation of the “Final Girl’s” will to life, her stubborn, desperate determination not to be erased. And the film itself, while a bit slow in the middle, is a pretty enjoyable watch as well.

Sandy – Humongous (1982) Janet Julian

I can’t really say this is my favorite of the bunch, but Sandy rises to the occasion in the final reel. The film starts strong (though quite disturbingly) and then falls into a long stretch of poorly lit muddling along on an island where some kids have been stranded with a killer. For a while I was wondering who the final girl would be – as it seemed that the one unattached girl with glasses was the first to open a photo album and start piecing together the back story, but she snapped under the pressure of it all and Sandy, evidently the most stable of the bunch, finally figures things out.  When things kick into gear in the last 15-20 minutes, Sandy leads a great chase, seems to rip off (not sure when it was filmed, but it was released more than a year after Friday 2) Ginny’s idea of playing the killer’s mother, races to the boat house where she traps him with fire and blows him up before finally staking him. Still, having learned his sad story, she feels sympathy for this poor, burned, deformed creature (no action or words, but there’s something in her eyes). He may have killed all her friends, but she can still pity him. In this, she balances all of the investigativeness, proactivity, ability to violently do what needs doing, and heart of a classic final girl, even if her movie is…just alright.

Valerie, Courtney, & Trish – The Slumber Party Massacre (1982) Robin Stille, Jennifer Meyers, & Michelle Michaels

Is this the first “meta” slasher? I mean, no, but it is so self-aware – written as a parody, but filmed more or less straight, it subverts the tropes that by 1982 had already calcified, delivering in my opinion, a subversive, hilarious, effectively scary, feminist slasher classic. One twist here is that three girls survive by fighting back together: Trish, who had thrown the party to have one last hurrah with her childhood friends before adulthood pulls them apart (sadly none of those friends make it to the end), Valerie, a new girl who, for all of her beauty, brains, and athletic skill, is still an outsider, and Courtney, Valerie’s little sister, a boy-obsessed teen eager for more adult thrills than she is yet allowed. Each of them is granted personality and real feeling. Trish starts the film throwing away childhood toys and looking to the future, a future which, by the end of the day, she will have been thrust into too soon, too harshly. Valerie feels the most like a classic final girl, the responsible one, staying home to look after her sister instead of going to the party (until she has to). Courtney is a firecracker, funny, impulsive, insistent. And all of the other girls (or boys) who are murdered by the nameless killer with an improbably long bit on his cordless drill (what kind of battery does he have?) are also people whom we can like and root for. This is a fun movie, with sly, knowing shots taken at its genre and possibly its audience, but it has emotional weight. By the time the girls finally symbolically castrate and dispatch the killer, they are deeply traumatized by the horrific events – there’s been so much death, so many friends lost, so much horror. They’ve done what they had to do to live, but their lives won’t be the same after this. The degree to which they get to mourn, cry, be broken at the end makes this often funny, light slasher land harder than expected.

Joan – Silent Madness (1984) Belinda Montgomery

Joan is great, a breath of fresh air – something really different – and she’s surely the most highly credentialed final girl on the list. A doctor at a psychiatric hospital which has accidentally released a psycho killer because of a computer error, Joan is surrounded by men who just refuse to do their damn jobs, (other doctors, administrators, the sheriff, even her reporter love interest). Either no one believes her as she investigates this major screw up which is getting kids killed at the college where the psycho was long ago arrested for a massacre, or they are all just covering their butts, hoping that if no one talks about it, no one will notice the pile of dead sorority sisters. Either way, Joan has to take care of everything all on her own, both hunting after the killer, navigating bureaucracy, and avoiding the murderous orderlies from her hospital, hot on her trail to shut her up.  Along the way, she uncovers buried truths, tries (and generally fails) to protect the sorority girls in question, and finally takes out the ‘bad guy,’ only to then discover a deeper cover-up. She is a self-assured, mature adult, bringing the final girl’s typical responsibility, but with full confidence from the beginning. However, while she is a self-assured professional, she is not some kind of fighter, so exploring creepy basements where a killer lurks is still effectively terrifying for her. This was a really fun watch and she rises above the crowd.

Allison – Chopping Mall (1986) Kelli Maroney

This may not be a slasher, but Allison is a great final girl. And though the threat in this case consists of a set of killer robot security guards in a mall, the film follows the classic slasher pattern of a group of kids partying somewhere and getting picked off until only one girl remains (who knows if she’s ‘virginal,’ but she’s the only one who doesn’t have sex that night) – who overcomes adversity and triumphs. Played by Kelli Maroney, a mainstay of 80s B-movies, Allison balances being really sweet with also being a tough cookie who’s a crack shot with a firearm (apparently because her dad is a marine). The set-up is that a group of young people, some of whom work at a mall, stay after hours to party in the furniture store where one of them works (and try out the beds). There are two couples (one of which is married, which is a rarity in this kind of thing) and then Allison has been set up with a nice, dorky boy with whom she actually hits it off (the two of them bond while watching old horror movies while everyone else fools around). They are really cute together and it’s easy to root for them. The film can be silly and fun, and also exciting, but by the end, it of course comes down to Allison and the final killbot. By this point, she’s in full trap-setting, robot-exploding, badass, final girl mode and she even gets to blow up the last bot with an action star quip. Otherwise, the film is just a blast: a great cast (including Barbara Crampton and Dick Miller), a really cool score, and a bunch of killer robots.

Kit – April Fool’s Day (1986) Amy Steel

This is a really fun, different spin on the whodunit-slasher (though its twist may be the most famous thing about it – if you can go in cold, it’s worth it) – spring break happens to fall on April first and Muffy invites all her friends, about to graduate college and with no idea what to do next, to her island mansion for the week. Being April Fool’s, she’s got a lot of pranks in store, but soon the practical jokes become a series of murders and we’re off to the races. Everyone is so well played that it took me a while to peg who the final girl would be, but it should have been obvious that it would be the one played by Amy Steel. Her Kit is a solid, investigative final girl who solves the mystery of the killings (though still having one big surprise in store), and who also really cares about her friends, even if some of them are kinda jerks. There’s one moment when she could get away, but she has to go back cause she can’t leave Muffy behind (even though it’s been implied that Muffy might be the killer). Amy Steel brings a similarly grounded, clear headed, empathetic quality that she did to Friday part 2 – which helps the terror land, and it gets exciting when she’s put through the paces in the final act.

Stretch – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) Caroline Williams

This is also not a slasher, but it’s a sequel to one of the most influential proto-slashers, and Stretch undergoes a true final girl experience, just without much of a body count. (Also Clover referenced her when defining the role, so she surely counts). A tough talkin’ Texas rock DJ who is pulled into the Sawyer family’s shenanigans after fielding a call from some kids getting chainsawed on her radio show, Stretch is just cool. She really doesn’t fall into any kind of bookish, innocent little “virgin” role – rather, she is an adult woman who wears short shorts, navigates a world of pushy, aggressive men, brings the rock ‘n roll, and chooses to court danger in order to get the story, to do something important. As a result, she almost literally goes through hell, suffering in a similar fashion as Sally before her, experiencing debilitating terror, seeing a friend’s face skinned off before having it draped on her own and being made to dance in order to pacify a chainsaw wielding man-child before climbing out, grabbing a chainsaw of her own and eviscerating the man who’s chasing her, and subsequently dancing around crazily with her chainsaw in the air, mirroring Leatherface at the end of the first film. The fact that Stretch starts the film so together and tough means that her descent into violent, triumphant madness is all the more intense. It’s a weird movie – funnier than the first, but that comedy brings its own horror. Plus, it features Dennis Hopper, fresh out of rehab, screaming maniacally and running around with a chainsaw in each hand. What’s not to love?

—

And so, there we have it, ten final girls that don’t always get mentioned.  As I said at the beginning, I’ve only seen about a third of what’s out there, so I’m sure there are many others worthy of inclusion who I am overlooking, but perhaps that’s fuel for a future list.

And for a fun discussion of a funny film which revolves around the concept of the final girl, check out the podcast here, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Seductive Sounds of Terror – Ten Favorite Horror Scores

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So, some time back I put out a list of ten “songs of the summer,” all original songs written/recorded for 80s horror flicks that just said, “summer” to me. At the time, I excluded horror scores from the list as that really could be its own post. And now it is. This post here.

What is it about them that’s so addictive? I mean, film music can be perfectly enjoyable from any genre if the composition is strong, but there is something about music orchestrated to both pull you in and set you on edge that is really compelling for me. One of my jobs (proofreading translations) is very detail oriented and I very often put on music from some horror film while I’m doing it. I need energy and focus, but I can’t be distracted by words, and the drive, playfulness, and bite of a good horror score always hits the spot, keeping me moving, but also alert. Plus, they just put me in a good mood.

So, for this list, again, I’m setting myself some rules (which I might also let myself break). I’ll only include full scores. There are so many really rocking themes that stand on their own, but for which I’m not really familiar with the whole score they’re from (or sometimes, a whole score wasn’t even written – but there is one great theme), so while I love, for example, the main themes to Gremlins, Rosemary’s Baby, The Psychic, Exorcist II: The Heretic, Chopping Mall, or just about every John Carpenter movie, I’m not going to put them on this list.

Also, I’m going to try to stick to a one per composer/director rule, but that will be hard, particularly in terms of the Italians and, again, John Carpenter, so we’ll see how well I do with this one.  Anyway, here, in no particular order, are my ten favorite horror scores. Enjoy!

Candyman (1992) – Philip Glass

CANDYMAN (1992) [FULL VINYL]

We may be starting with my favorite. Philip Glass is a modern, minimalist composer and his score is, at once, quite spare – a few instruments, mostly the organ, and a chorus, building repetitions of simple themes, while being at the same time grand, romantic, mournful, gothic, and full of dread. The pulsing repetitions become claustrophobic, though the themes being repeated can be quite pretty, and there is an edge of something unresolved stretched across the composition. There are no stingers to accompany jump scares, but it is unsettling, uncanny, and beautiful – the perfect accompaniment to the film’s central themes. I pretty much think this film is a masterpiece, but I don’t know how true that would be without this tremendous music to raise its effect. Also – I’ve been using the music box theme that kicks it off as my ringtone for at least the last fifteen years.

Daughters of Darkness (1971) – François De Roubaix

DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS (1971) [FULL VINYL]

Sensual and atmospheric, the music here fluctuates between an erotic early seventies groove, a languid, classy waltz that implies something much older and aristocratic, and this hypnotic spookiness that seduces, but still has a bit of an edge. There are themes that repeat, but often with different instrumentation, or carrying a slightly different vibe. It is all playful, varied, and also pretty steamy. And it just works so well in the film, helping to build the enveloping atmosphere of the whole piece.

Dracula (1992) – Wojciech Kilar

Dracula (1992) Soundtrack (Full vinyl Rip)

This was the first film score that I ever bought, so enamored was I with Coppola’s rich, romantic, colorfully extravagant interpretation of Stoker’s story. The music is grandiose and monumental to the point of being intimidating. Kilar’s score is a building storm of orchestral power, driving and intense. Subtle it is not, but neither is the film, and I think they make a perfect pairing. Also, I haven’t found confirmation of this anywhere, but I feel like it includes a really interesting musical reference to the 1922 score to Nosferatu, the granddaddy of vampire cinema. Listen to the first track, “Thema I” or the penultimate track, “Nosferatu saugt Ellen und stibt im Morgengrauen” and see if it doesn’t feel familiar.

Phantasm (1979) – Fred Myrow & Malcolm Seagrave

"Phantasm" Full Vinyl Soundtrack by Fred Myrow & Malcolm Seagrave

Phantasm has one of the most iconic main themes in the genre, living in my head in close proximity to Carpenter’s theme for Halloween, both eking maximum effect out of a really small handful of notes. But that is only the beginning. The rest of the work, featuring a wide and eclectic array of percussion instruments and gloriously atmospheric synthesized soundscapes, is just as creepily inviting and sublimely weird. It ranges from alien discordance to a disco funk, from gothic spookiness to avant-garde pandemonium, all matching the film’s home-spun idiosyncrasies beat for beat.

City of the Living Dead (1980) – Fabio Frizzi / The House by the Cemetery (1981) – Walter Rizzati

Ok, so I’m breaking a rule here as this Sophie’s choice between these scores to two entries in Lucio Fulci’s Gates of Hell trilogy is just too much for me. (The Beyond is good too, but these two just blow me away.) They are for two films from the same director, but at least the composers are different, so that’s something. But they are equally compelling, and well suited to their respective flicks.

Going chronologically, City of the Living Dead is sometimes mysterious, sometimes rocking, and always eerie. Frizzi is really one of the best in the game, so it was hard to choose just one piece of his, but in the end, I just can’t get over the gothic, incessant atmosphere of this one. It’s a great space to dwell in, with strange, distorted sounds that still retain musicality, with a kind of implacable lurching towards the grave, and with a guitar solo on one track that seems exactly like something David Gilmore of Pink Floyd would have produced.

The House by the Cemetery // Walter Rizzati -- Death Waltz Records [Full Vinyl Rip]

The score for The House by the Cemetery works in a similar mode, but stakes out its own ground. There is a creeping dread here mixed with a kind of enraptured nostalgia. The second track, “I Remember,” I could listen to all day. There is an emotional tension that pairs so well with this gory, gorgeous film of nightmare logic and the wicked Doctor Freudstein.

The Burning (1981) – Rick Wakeman

The Burning OST (1981) [Vinyl]

This one, very simply, just rocks! Rick Wakeman, a keyboardist for the band Yes (i.a., Owner of a lonely heart) really soars here. It swings between a lyrical beauty appropriate to the natural setting of this summer camp set slasher and a stomping synthesized rock sound, effectively intense in underscoring the film’s mayhem and murder. And it all just sounds so cool and weird. There are sounds here that only a synth could make, which are not trying to imitate anything that came before, which are odd, but really work in the film. And aside from the film, as a standalone album, it is all just so much fun.

Suspiria (1977) – Goblin

Dario Argento's ‘Suspiria’ – Full Vinyl Soundtrack by Goblin

This is another impossible choice. I could have just as easily listed the score for Profundo Rosso or Tenebrae, but I am only allowing myself one Goblin scored Argento flick. And the film showcases the music so well. The opening sequence is a prime example: Suzy arriving at the airport, with the music swelling each time the doors open, letting in both the sound and the storm, the main theme implying the violent threat of this black forest fairy tale setting she is so vulnerably walking into. She goes through the automatic doors into a raging storm, at once entering a world of magic and threat and cool, weird melodies accompanied by creepy voices singing “la, la, la, la”. Goblin’s music is sometimes delicate, sometimes darkly enveloping in its creepy awesomness, and sometimes discordantly disquieting (while ironically being pretty loud), really setting nerves on edge. But the overall effect is glorious, absolutely integral to the film, and a perfect complement to Argento’s technicolor visual assault, all resulting in an effective, delirious, addictive sensory overload of a movie.

The Fog (1980) – John Carpenter

The Fog Soundtrack (Blake's Gold Edition) [Full Vinyl Rip] Part 1

“11:55, almost midnight. Enough time for one more story. One more story before 12:00, just to keep us warm.” This is another nail biter of a choice. I doubt anyone else has crafted so many recognizable, iconic themes, particularly while working with a pretty contained palette, but I think this is my favorite. Endlessly atmospheric and catchy, he laid down the perfect foggy sound for his old fashioned fireside ghost story of deadly revenge rolling in from the sea. There is a fragile sense of loss to the compositions, a palpable dread, and the hook of fascination that pulls you in even as you tremble – a delicious, doom-laden auditory treat.

The Wicker Man (1973) – Paul Giovanni and Magnet

the wicker man ost-corn rigs

Again, I feel like I’m breaking my own rules as I hadn’t intended to include anything featuring songs with lyrics, but I just can’t leave this out, and with its folksy, historical charm, it is also a nice counterpoint to some of the other music on this list. The scoring, all based in traditional Scottish, English, and Irish music, really sets the stage for our visit to Summerisle, and perfectly gives voice to its inhabitants as they undergo their fiery celebration. And the songs that are sung, such as “Gently Johnny,” “The Maypole Song,” or “Willow’s Song” are such a significant aspect of how we see the life of the village – boisterous and lusty and joyfully pagan. As long as you’re not an overly religious and sexually repressed police sergeant investigating a missing child, it is unbelievably inviting. The first time I saw The Wicker Man, I hadn’t known what to expect and I was puzzled to discover that it’s kind of a musical, but now the sung portions are something I look forward to every time.

A note: I couldn’t find a clip with the whole soundtrack on Youtube, so the video above is just the first song. However, you can follow this link to a playlist that includes the full soundtrack.

Day of the Dead (1985) – John Harrison

Day of the Dead OST // Waxwork Records [FULL VINYL RIP]

This was another tossup – Harrison’s work for Creepshow is great, but the rising dread set to a sometimes calypso beat that he worked up for Romero’s third zombie outing just stands the test of time. We have the sustained tension fitting for this claustrophobic bunker setting, we have militaristic marches following the aggression of the army guys, and we have an essential weirdness well suited to the unknowable nature of the living dead. And somehow, even through the musical trepidation, there are odd notes of lightness and play. Some compositions really maintain an interesting tension and/or a balance between a bass-y low-end relentlessness and airy notes dancing about on top of it all. And it is just so effective in the film itself, which is of course the point.

Well that’s that. I hope this music serves you (whoever you may be) as well as it does me. May your hours in front of the computer be groovier – and more ominous.

Death by Stereo: Ten Songs of the Summer

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So, every May/June, I visit my parents in Ocean City, MD to help them prepare a show that they will perform throughout the summer. It’s great that I’m able to make the trip and I always enjoy the work, but sometimes, it is just exhausting. My “workshop,” so to speak, is an out-door space and I’m generally working there from early morning until it starts getting dark each day. It’s a lot, especially when it’s a really hot day. But thank the gods for headphones and podcasts and playlists. And the other day, when it was particularly hot and sunny, and I was really low on juice, I put on a playlist I keep in my phone for just such occasions – my list of groovy tunes written for horror movies. It never fails to pick me up when I’m down or put a smile on my face. And honestly, I don’t exactly know why. Sure, some of the films these are from are comfort food favorites (see comfort food part I and part II) and it’s nice to have a song take you there, but not all are. But there is something about this confluence of an 80s synthesized sound (in most, but not all cases) and music made to accompany movies that were supposed to scare, while still being, you know, fun – it just hits a particularly sweet spot for me.

And I thought, “Hey, that’s something worth sharing!” So, today I’m going to run down ten songs on my list. I noticed that most were already from the eighties, so I restricted the set to that decade. I’m excising from the list any cuts from scores (I’m sure that could be a whole other post) or songs not written for the film in question, but just used on the soundtrack. I’m also not taking more than one song from a given source, with apologies to the soundtracks to The Lost Boys, Fright Night, and The Return of the Living Dead (all of which offer their own complete iteration of this list), so sometimes, hard decisions have had to be made about what to leave out. 

Every year, I hear people talk about what the ‘song of the summer’ is. Well, something about all of these just feels like summer somehow. I suppose some are from real popcorn horror movies, while some just feel hot, I guess. But beyond that, in the summer, when it’s hot and sunny outside, I just love to hide in a dark, air conditioned room and watch something that will give me chills. So maybe all horror music feels like the summer to me.

That said, let’s get into it and run down this list of “Ten Songs Written for Eighties Horror Movies, Not Including Score Orchestration!” (catchy title, huh?) These come in no particular order, really just the sequence I hear them in my playlist.

Dream Warriors – Dokken (1987): Nightmare on Elm Street 3

Dokken - Dream Warriors (Official Music Video)

I’ve already written about my appreciation for this series entry – I think it’s probably the best example of what Nightmare on Elm Street movies have to offer. And this song is a part of that. I mean, the whole film is just such a good time and having a song to rock out to where you find yourself screaming out the name of the film is just such cheesy, glorious fun. I think for horror to work, you have to be open to it. You can’t be too cool to get scared or it won’t work. Maybe that’s why so many of the songs on this list, this one certainly included, are so unabashedly sincere, and rocking.

The Ballad of Harry Warden – Paul Zaza (1981): My Bloody Valentine

The Ballad of Harry Warden (1080p with lyrics)

I just love a folksy ballad about murder and/or a disaster. Old broadsheet ballads, Nick Cave, The Willow Garden, The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald; that kind of thing is rather my jam. And this tune, which plays over the credits of My Bloody Valentine, one of the better entries (I think) of the first slasher cycle, really delivers the atmosphere, the nostalgic regret, and the beauty that the film deserves. It’s just so very pretty, but it’s got this pinch of pain, of threat. It’s a great song for a singalong around a campfire, if only I weren’t so shy about playing my guitar in front of other people…

Angela’s Theme (You’re Just What I’ve Been Looking For) – Franki Vinci (1983): Sleepaway Camp

Frankie Vinci - Angela's Theme (Sleepaway Camp)

Sleepaway Camp is an easy movie to love (so intentionally sleazy and accidentally sweet, all while (I suspect) totally inadvertently making a case for trans rights, all in a dirty little slasher that seems to, more accurately than most, show kids at summer camp in a way that is oddly, rather believable (though I imagine there’s often less murder), and this ode to Felicia Rose’s Angela is one really groovy, synth-tastic gem. It plays over the credits, following a key moment which shouldn’t be spoiled if possible, and is in a kind of dialogue with that moment, allowing it to linger as the credits roll. It’s just the perfect cap to a really enjoyable flick.    

Pet Sematary – The Ramones (1989): Pet Sematary

Ramones - Pet Sematary (Official Video) [HD]

I remember being freaked out by the trailers on TV for Pet Sematary when I was a kid. I would have been 10 or 11 when it was being advertised and we had always had cats, so the image of Church, back from the dead and now evil, was just really disturbing for me – a mix of sad and wrong and scary that got under my skin. Many years later, I finally read the book and was struck with how ultimately mournful it all is, far more than scary. And yet, for the 1989 film, the Ramones contributed this upbeat anthemic rocker with downbeat lyrics (I don’t wanna be buried in a pet sematary – I don’t want to live my life again) for the end credits, and it’s hard not to bop your head when you hear it.

Tonight (We’ll Make Love Until We Die) – SSQ (1985): The Return of the Living Dead

SSQ - Tonight (We'll Make Love Until We Die)

It’s honestly difficult to pick just one song from this soundtrack, but in the end, I think this might be my favorite of them. It’s got a great sound, it is clearly for exactly this film with lyrics about rising from earth beds, smells gone sweetly rancid, and dancing among the dead, and it is the tune that plays during the iconic cemetery striptease that Trash (Linnea Quigley) performs right after voicing her fantasy about being eaten by old men and shortly before becoming zombified herself. How could I choose anything else?

Come to Me – Brad Fiedel (1985):  Fright Night

Fright Night Soundtrack - Come To Me

An instrumental version of this song is used as the vampire seduction theme throughout both Fright Night and its sequel, but on the soundtrack album, words were added to make more of a pop tune out of it. Either way, it is a sultry, cool, evocative piece – utterly appropriate for apple eating, chunky knit sweater wearing vampires to beguile beautiful women to. And it’s a perfect accompaniment to Fright Night’s brand of good old fashioned vampire story meets modernity (ala 1985).  

Cat People (Putting Out Fire With Gasoline) – David Bowie (1982): Cat People

David Bowie Cat People Putting Out Fire Music Video HQ

Another song that has a different version on the album and in the film.  On Bowie’s Let’s Dance album, the song is sped up to be, I guess, more danceable (yes, let’s), and it’s fine. But the version made for the film with its slowed down intro is just so rich, with a gorgeous building tension that just explodes when it kicks into gear. Since Cat People (an interesting and enjoyable, and very 80s remake of the classic Val Lewton original), it’s been featured on a few other soundtracks. Notably, Tarantino put it to really good use in Inglourious Basterds, but its steamy quality just pairs so well with the sweaty, New Orleans set, sex obsessed film for which it was named.

I Still Believe – Tim Cappello (1987): The Lost Boys

The Lost Boys - Soundtrack - I Still Believe - By Tim Cappello -

Ok, I’m breaking my own rule here. This wasn’t actually written for the movie. Apparently, the version in the film is a cover of a song by The Call, but Cappello did record this to be on the soundtrack. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Cappello’s appearance in the film, performing this song, surrounded by fire, oiled up and swinging his sax around, is just perfect: exuberant, cheesy, over the top, totally earnest, and unapologetically passionate and joyful. It sets the tone for Santa Carla night life youth culture—everyone there is really having a fantastically amazing time (so much life) and amidst the hubbub, Michael and Star lock eyes. Their actual romance may feel tacked on (fueling those who claim the stronger connection is between Michael and David), but in this moment, the connection feels magical.

He’s Back (The Man Behind the Mask) – Alice Cooper (1986): Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives

Alice Cooper - (He's Back) The Man Behind the Mask

Alice Cooper has at least three songs on the soundtrack of Jason Lives, but this is the only one that is really directly about the movie, or at least its titular killer. This is possibly the silliest of the Friday movies, and this celebratory ode to Jason fits in with it just great. Past that, it’s just a love letter to the whole slasher formula: kids fooling around in the woods, or out on lovers’ lake, and running into homicidal trouble in the form of a masked psychopath. It doesn’t feel like a horror movie exactly, but in some way, it can scratch the itch.

Maniac – Dennis Matkosky and Michael Sembello (1983): Flashdance / Maniac

Ok, this is a pretty odd inclusion. But it comes with a story. So apparently Matkosky had heard about some serial killer and it inspired him to start writing. Once begun, he and Sembello came upon William Lustig’s effectively gruesome 1980 horror film Maniac, and it gave them fuel to round out the rest of the lyrics with gems such as:

He’s a Maniac. He just moved in next door.

He’ll kill your cat and nail it to the floor.

(Though, to be fair, nothing like that actually happens in Maniac)

Somehow it got on the radar of Flashdance’s director, Adrian Lyne who requested they change the lyrics to be more about a girl who’s dancing and less about a serial killer involved in feline carpentry, and it became the MTV hit that everybody knows, but it all started with something pretty dark and playful. So I’ll leave you with that.

And that’s it for now. Maybe some other time, I’ll dig into some scores that I think stand out, but for now, I hope this helps enliven your summer months…